I Figured If I Can't Meet DNP I Might As Well Pretend
by Ethan-Silas
Summary: So I wrote a story about it. I have no idea if this is in character or not because I've not met Dan or Phil, nor will I ever. But, hey, please follow my Twitter. Also, I'm too lazy to edit, so it is how it is.


It had been all of four minutes, and I was chilled to the core outside of Barnes & Noble. With dread, I pulled the panda mitten half off of my fingers to reveal black fingerless gloves that instantly felt frozen to the bone. I carefully unlocked my phone and clicked on the weather app, fingers growing ever colder. It was -2 degrees Fahrenheit, but the wind chill made it feel -14. (-18 C, feels like -25 C). I quickly put my phone into my pocket and covered myself.

It was the day after 2022 had begun, and two days before Dan and Phil would come to this very Barnes & Noble for a book signing meet and greet for their new book, The Interactive Introverts Book. It had come out years after their tour that had taken place in 2018, which I had been unlucky enough to miss out on despite, for once, having the money to afford VIP. It had sold out in seconds. I could have still gotten regular tickets, of course, but my anxiety was so bad that if I wasn't going to meet them, it just wasn't worth it. I thought of how wonderful it would have been, seeing them in Detroit a mere two days after my eighteenth birthday...

But, now, finally, I had my chance to meet the men I'd looked up to since my childhood. I'd been eight when I started watching AmazingPhil, in 2008, and I'd been nine when I'd started watching danisnotonfire, a year later. They hadn't just changed my life, they'd molded who I was as a person.

I was the only person in front of the store, which had surprised me but also made quite a lot of sense… It was fiendishly cold. Luckily, I'd come prepared, and I had a wonderful friend who had promised to bring me hot coffee and breakfast in the mornings and hot tea and dinner in the evening. I'd worn several layers of clothing; long johns, leggings, and sweatpants, a tank top, a t-shirt, a long sleeve shirt, and a jacket beneath my winter coat, three pairs of socks, a scarf, a hat, and the hoods from my jacket and coat, as well as two large, warm sleeping bags. I also had a backpack full of clothes for the day of the signing and daily essentials, as well as my copy of the Interactive Introverts book, and another bag still with a painting for each of the boys, as well as four manila envelopes filled with drawing and small stories I'd made for them. Hopefully, I'd be allowed to give them to the boys.

I was huddled up under my blankets and decided to put my phone on the battery-powered portable charger, and plugged in my headphones and played some music, closing my eyes for a moment.

Eventually, other people came to camp out beside me, though understandably not too many. I was the only person who was alone.

It was a very cold and very miserable two days, though thankfully, the store let us come in to use the restroom. I didn't dare linger in the warmth of the store long, though, lest someone steal my things or my place right outside the door. After what felt like an eternity, it was finally the day, and a giant wave of people joined the line. Around noon, they let us in. I quickly placed my things on my chair and weighed them down with my coat and rushed to the bathroom with my things, quickly changing into my clothing and washing my hair in the sink before rushing back, relieved that my things had gone untouched. I quickly applied some makeup and french braided my hair. I rubbed my thighs, partly to rid them of the still-biting cold, and partly out of anxiety as the sectioned-off part of the store filled with more and more of my fellow phandom members.

Soon, it was time for a man to get up on stage and announce that Dan and Phil were in the building and the signing would soon commence. I quickly pulled out my lovely, brand new book and hugged it to my chest.

Finally, the nerves of meeting my two favorite people in the world overtook the sheer joy and anticipation in me, and I took several moments to close my eyes and breathe deeply, lest an attack overcome me. They were wonderful people, and they had many people to meet, so it would be brief but overwhelmingly wonderful. The bittersweet realization of just _how_ brief and impersonal it would be ran through my brain, and while the little fangirl in me was deeply saddened, my anxiety was soothed a surprising amount. It didn't matter if I was odd or boring, because chances were that they wouldn't remember me in particular, anyway, right?

As I waited, I examined my nails. I'd thankfully managed to grow them out just a bit, after a lifetime of tiny stubs, and they were just a bit past my fingertips. I'd painted them myself, a cool holographic glittering black, except for my ring fingers, which were blood red with black crackle. I wore my special ring on my left hand, a ruby set into black metal on my middle finger, and a simple black band on my thumb. On my right hand I wore another black ring, this time with garnet, on my ring finger and a silver skeletal hand on my index finger, which had been my step father's before he'd passed when I was sixteen. On my right wrist I wore my Official Phandom Member Wristband, as well as several miscellaneous black band bracelets, and some anime-themed ones as well. On my left was a shimmering silver bracelet as well as one made out of jet. My boots were simple black combat boots, and my pants were mahogany skinny jeans covered in rips. I had a thick, black leather belt and I wore a loose-fitting hair sweater from . My hair was blue and purple, though it just looked dark back in the french braid, and my shaved sides were barely there, though you could tell that I was naturally blonde. I wore the usual face makeup, though no blush, and I'd done my eyebrows blue to match my hair, my eyeshadow red and black and grey, and I had deep black lipstick. I hoped I looked alright, as I subconsciously tapped on my book.

I was very close to the stage from where I sat, in fact, I was right in front of the steps. I could see both of the boys currently empty chairs sandwiched between the table for signing, and the backdrop that blocked them from the view of most of the store. My coat and blankets were stuffed beneath my chair, my bag of goodies beside me, and my bag of stuff right beneath my feet.

My phone, in my pocket, was vibrating like crazy; most likely my friends wishing me luck and hyping up in the group chat, and although it had primarily them to get me through the cold wait, I didn't think I could handle thinking about it anymore. I just focused on breathing, and counting the tiny freckles that lined my arms.

Eventually, however, it was time, and Dan and Phil walk out and towards the steps that were right in front of me. It was so unbelievably surreal, as the crowd roared behind me, and all I could do was look between them. Dan was in front, his foot on the first step, and it was almost as though time had stopped. His chestnut hair was brown and curly atop his head, looking wonderful as ever and even softer in real life. His skin shone in the bright lights, and a brilliant, quintessentially Dan grin lit up his handsome, manly face. He wore ripped black slacks, black shoes, a long flannel top, and a snazzy leather jacket. Time continued once more, but then I saw Phil as he took the last step onto the stage, and it paused again. It was a shock to see him in real life, his jet black hair sitting perfectly on his pale face, his smiling lighting it all up, his large hand waving at the crowd. He wore a blue button down shirt covered in small kittens, and loose-fitting black jeans atop his shoes. I could see the striking blue of his eyes as they met mine for a moment, and my previously in-awe face turned into a wide smile. The eye contact was ever-so-brief, and then time continued once more, and luckily, for the very first time in my life, my anxiety released its tight grip on me and I was grinning and laughing to myself, vision blurring, hugging myself. They each took a microphone and stood not ten feet from me. This was the best moment of my life.

"Hello," Phil said, smiling out at the crowd. He looked so adorable and bright. The crowd got ever louder.

"Glad to see you all," Dan added, his cute, crooked smile making my heart flutter. Again, the people behind me screamed. They talked for a moment longer, then suddenly, my row was being ushered on stage to wait in line to meet them as Dan and Phil took their seats. Panic flooded me and I instantly began hyperventilating, the joyous glee that had consumed me only moments ago buried deep inside me. I managed out to one of the people that I'd like to wait until the end, if that was alright, and they shrugged and led the person to my left to be the very first person to meet Dan and Phil.

It took literally hours, as each individual person got a few moments for a signing, to give presents, and take a few pictures with the boys, and though the building was filled to capacity, there were people lined up outside. By the end of the first hour, I'd had to tell what seemed like every staff member that I was too afraid to go up just yet, and that I'd like to wait until last. It was all-too like me to get right in line and faint walking up to them, and if that happened, I didn't want to keep any other fans waiting while they toted me off stage.

Eventually, though, there was no one left. As the last handful of people were ushered on stage to wait in line, I slowly stood, breathing very, very carefully, and picked up my large bag of presents, then stood on the ground right in front of the stairs, looking very carefully at the feet of the person in front of me. She wore galaxy converse, which was cool, and chocolate skin was revealed for about an inch before they met her black leggings. For a moment, just out of curiosity, I glanced up to see her outfit; she wore some sort of white shirt beneath a maroon letter jacket boasting the high school I'd gone to. She was only a few inches shorter than me. I looked down at the carpet as the line moved forward, and desperately thought about anything other than the wonderful men I was about to meet.

Soon, the galaxy-sneakered girl was walking up to Dan and Phil, her mom or older sister or someone moving to the back of the stage, taking pictures. Then, however long after, she walked off stage with the older woman, and I looked up to see Dan and Phil smiling at me. For a split second, I didn't move, but then something kicked in and put one foot slowly in front of me… And then other, and the first again. Eventually I was right in front of them, speechless.

"Do you have a phone for pictures?" a man asked from behind me. I turned, blinked like an idiot, then nodded and pulled it out, unlocked it, opened the camera, and handed it to him, squeaking a pathetic 'thank you' in the quietest, highest voice that had ever come out of my mouth. Then, I turned.

"Hello!" Phil said brightly. Both he and Dan looked a bit tired. I smiled awkwardly.

"H-he-hey," I stuttered out. Dan smiled cheekily.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"I-I'm… " I swallowed, cleared my throat, and sheepishly looked at my book as I slowly set it on the table. "Sammie," I said. As Dan took the book, his large, warm hand brushed my small, cold one.

"Nice to meet you, Sammie," Dan said, opening it and quickly scribbling it in.

"What've you got there?" Phil asked when I didn't hand over my bag. Embarrassment shot through me, both for not remembering to give them their things, and also for what they were.

"O-oh," I said softly. I put the bag on the table as Dan handed the book to Phil. "I h-have a painting o-of…" I bit my lip and swallowed as I pulled out Dan's painting. A cartoon version of Dan stood in the middle, standing in a black sweater and ripped black jeans, smirking at the viewer. There was a grey circle beneath his bare feet, and the background was like a clock; at noon, they was a llama, and an assortment of things went around that symbolized all of the things he'd used to like, used to be known for, until underneath the original noon and above cartoon Dan's head was, in gorgeous calligraphy that had taken me an entire day, all by itself, the word ' _croissance est bonne'_ , partly because it was french for 'change is good', and partly because it sounded like croissant and bread was delicious. "All the different Dan's, through the years," I said, a shy, crooked smile on my face, and Dan laughing and took it from me.

"It's wonderful," he beamed, chocolate eyes glittering. "I love it. Thank you so much," Dan showed Phil, who let out a happy exclamation.

"That's great," he said. I grinned from ear to ear, blushing crimson, and pulled out Phil's drawing.

"This one's f-for y-yo-you," I cooed, holding it out. It was cartoon Phil, sitting cross-legged on his bright, blue and green bed, smiling brightly at the viewer. Going counter-clockwise, there was a wild assortment of things, not a clock this time. It was a bunch of colors all fading in and out, blending into one another, with a lot of house plants, animals, and just generally things Phil liked floating about. Beneath the cartoon, in calligraphy once more, it said ' _la croissance n'est pas toujours évidente'_ , which meant 'change isn't always obvious'.

"It's wonderful," Phil cooed again, beaming.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Thank you," Dan countered. I looked down, and saw the bag, then pulled out the first manila envelope, labelled 'Drawings for Phil'.

"This is just a bunch of little drawings and things I made… Some are of you, but most of them are just things I thought you might like," I said, sheepishly handing them to Phil.

"Thank you!" he said brightly, and I smiled again.

"You're very welcome," I said, then pulled out the next envelope, labelled 'Drawings for Dan'. I handed it to him. "And this one is for you."

"Thanks," he said, still smiling. I pulled out the last remaining envelopes; 'Writings for Phil' and 'Writings for Dan'. I handed them the envelopes, and they thanked me once more.

"Is that all?" Phil asked with a bright smile. "It's so much!"

I nodded slowly.

"Picture time, then?" Dan asked. I smiled again, hugging myself, and the boys stood. I walked behind the table at one of the worker's urging, and pretty soon I was right in between Dan and Phil. Dan took a step away, and Phil gently placed an arm around me, posing for the camera. Tentatively, I did the same, leaning against his shoulder; he was so much taller than me, it was insane. I was a grown woman, after all; at 21, I stood at five-foot-six. We smiled at the camera, and I breathed in the scent of his cologne; it was quite lovely, and almost like licorice. After a couple of pictures, Phil let go, and I swallowed and hugged myself. Then Phil stepped away and it was Dan's turn to put an arm around me, and for a moment, I thought I was going to faint. I very carefully put an arm around him as well, very conscious of where my hand was so as to not accidentally get myself into a very bad position, and posed for the pictures, breathing in Dan's scent, basking in the warmth he radiated. His cologne was even better than Phil's, though I couldn't quite tell what it smelled like, other than warmth and masculinity and… Nice. Then, Phil stepped closer again and there were a few pictures.

"C-can I-I get a p-p-p-p-pict-ture o-of-" I closed my eyes and swallowed, and realized I was shaking. "H-hold-ding y-your ha-hands, ple-please?"

"Sure," Dan said, and two large warm hands enveloped mine and held them near our faces. I grinned brightly, happily.

"A-and a si-silly o-one?" I queried.

"Of course!" Phil beamed, and then they each made silly faces, and after laughing, I twisted up my own face.

"One more," Dan said, and before I could think, he pressed his lips into my head. I audibly gasped, and Phil looked surprised before laughing and sticking his tongue out like he was licking me. I laughed, covering my cheeks with my hands, and letting my eyes go cross, puckering my lips comically.

Then, they backed up, each smiling at me, and I looked between them. Before I could think or stop myself, the words "I love you both so fucking much," poured out of me, and to my surprise, not even a single word had a stutter. Then embarrassment flooded me, and they laughed.

"That's great," Dan said brightly, his hand touching my back. I giggled and walked back out to the other side of the table, smiling sheepishly at them.

"O-oh," I said, finally remembering something that I very much wanted to tell them. "I-I'd like to ask something of y-you, if you don't m-mind,"

"Alright," Dan said.

"I've always been really passionate about a-art and wr-writing things a-and I've worked a hellish amount for the past few years to get enough money to m-make a video game, all by myself, and I've invested and all that good stuff to f-finally have enough money for it. And I'm working on it all, but I've just finished a demo of the game and since y-you're my f-favorite people in the whole world, i-it would mean a lot to me if you would play it, like, for the gaming channel o-or just, y'know, by yours-selves,"

"What's it about," Dan asked, his smile less wide, his eyes attentive.

"W-well, the game will be sort of an action-adventure thing where you pl-play as a human girl n-named Sovereign- or S-Sovie. It's set way in the f-future and the world and its societies are all very different, and technology is way advanced. So advanced that other species, in space and stuff, are very worried what the humans will do. S-so, there's this organization full of aliens that, like, find civilizations that are too technologically advanced for the good of the whole universe and commit mass genocide, keeping only a few of the brightest and most capable minds and taking the technology for their own. W-well, at the start, Sovie is a fourteen year old girl, the daughter of the person in charge of the entirety of Earth, and happens to be outrageously intelligent. When the organization invades to attack, she's one of the very few humans who survive, and she's so intelligent and technologically talented as well as capable at fighting and stuff, that the person in charge of the invasion and one of the most powerful people i-in the o-organization keeps her on. She has to go through some pretty horrific tr-training, but she does and th-the rest o-of the game is about her a-and the general- the a-alien in charge of the inva-invasion- going about the u-universe and learning about all the different alien civilizations that threaten the universe wi-with distructive tech-techno-no-technology. Th-the demo is a-all I ha-have done so far, b-but its very much a work in progress because I-I'm working on this alone. I've h-had some donations and st-stuff, a-and I've been l-lucky enough to have access to some very c-cool things to be a-able to m-make it h-how I-I'd like, b-but… Its still n-not perfect."

"That sounds amazing," Phil said. I smiled sheepishly.

"Th-thank you," I muttered.

"How do we play it? That would be a really cool thing for the gaming channel- playing a viewer's game," Dan added.

"W-well, you can fi-find it online, but its pinned to my Twi-Twitter," I said coyly.

"What's your Twitter?" Dan asked, grinning and pulling out his phone.

"A-t Saexxmii," I said, then spelled it for them. "S-A-E-X-X-M-I-I."

"Alright," Dan said after a moment.

"Woah," Phil said. "That looks stunning,"

"I was picturing more an indie, Undertale-style game," Dan mused.

"Nope," I said.

"You did this all by yourself?" Dan questioned, looking up at me.

"Relatively," I replied, hugging myself.

"That's… Really cool," Dan said. "We'll definitely check it out."

I grinned my widest grin, then laughed, looking between them. "Thank you both, so much. You mean the whole world to me."

"Thank you for all that stuff," Phil said brightly.

"Have a great day," Dan bid.

"You, too," I smiled, then turned and walked off stage. That was the best day of my life.


End file.
